YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR…

- if you have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically.
- if you enjoy pain.
- if you know vector calculus but you can’t remember how to do long division.
- if you chuckle whenever anyone says ‘centrifugal force.’
- if you’ve actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

- if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
- if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
- if you always do homework on Friday and Saturday nights.

- if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
- if you think in ‘math.’
- if you’ve calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
- if you hesitate to look at something because you don’t want to break down its wave function.
- if you have a pet named after a scientist.
- if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
- if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger’s Cat experiment.
- if you can’t remember what’s behind the door in the science building which says ‘Exit.’
- if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there’s a wind-chill factor in the lab.
- if you are completely addicted to PhysLink.com.
- if you avoid doing anything because you don’t want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
- if you consider ANY non-science course ‘easy.’
- if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
- if the ‘fun’ center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
- if you’ll assume that a ‘horse’ is a ‘sphere’ in order to make the math easier.
- if you understood more than five of these indicators.
- if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

If these indicators apply to you, there is good reason to suspect that you might be classified as a physics major. I hope this clears up any confusion.